This article was written in-house by Billy Benign, who has refused to register an account at this time.
The bloated Soviet Flag in all its imperialism.
If there’s one thing that grinds my gizzard it’s definitely the very idea of Communism. Actually, I have a bigger problem with the pronunciation; “KAH-myoo-nism?” What the duck? It should sound more like the word “communal,” so it would be “kuh-MYOO-nism.” That would at least make it sound 32% less evil. Continue reading
Looks like the Recording Industry Association of America has done it again.
This time, they’ve accused the Smith family’s pet dog for illicit file swapping.
If you have seen this cupcake, call 1-800-4-NIK-8-R immediately.
Sometimes, life is real simple. You can go to work (or school), hang out with other employees (students), hook up at the bar (cafeteria) and get busy with a nice chick (your right hand). Other times, however, life dares to be ugly, and it’s even worse when what makes it so just won’t die.
Less than 48 hours ago, a Hostess-brand cupcake was spotted passing by off of the I-62 in Pheonix, Arizona. This is an event that has stunned news reporters all around the world; Hostess Inc. filed for bankruptcy in 2012, and was closed down in November of that year. As a result, all Hostess cupcakes, twinkies, devil dogs and spanky hankies were sent immediately to various Chemical Concentration Camps to be decomposed and disposed of. It seems, however, that one oven-dwelling goldie dared to escape; it is now running rampant on the poor, innocent streets of Pheonix. Continue reading
“Greetings, fellow Christians!” (Click for image details)
Well, I guess it’s time to bid Pope Benedict XVI farewell. No, I know what you’re thinking. Il Papa is retiring from public life, and now the Church is popeless. He just retired today in a pretty good ceremony, you know. The last time a pope resigned was in 1415.
“Don’t worry, kids, it’s not automatic.”
There’s a reason we’ve been so inactive lately. We’ve been working on a big Easter project for Qzekrom; a fully animated short film. At 4 and a half minutes, it should be a delight. However, it’s not done yet, though we have a trailer to show you.
Be sure to check out the new Qzekrom YouTube channel!
(Music created by YouTube user thesecession: video here)
Imagine you’re super stoaked, since you’re on a first date tonight with that totally tubular chick you’ve been eyeing on from the other end of math class for a month. You’re all ready to set out, she’s lookin’ fine, you think you’ll easily be in for a good time tonight…but not so fast. Lil’ Debby’s morbidly obese, sweater-sporting bible scholar of a mother marches out in the parking lot and has some demands for her “little flower’s special contender.”. Uh-oh, prudes. If you don’t prepare for this scenario, you will have to put up with the world’s ultimate cock-blockers. But how do you prepare? Here’s a set of rules to follow when encountering prudish parents. Continue reading
In the past, new Pokémon characters were the most adorable things I’ve ever seen.
The five Pokémon that were announced on January 8 seem more like creepy tools of child molestation to me, however. Chespin, for example, looks like a brown-colored Oshawott with buck teeth and a “thorny crown.”*
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